The One Where David Bernat Takes Over

David Bernat
3 min readMay 8, 2024

Bernat: Are you sure you want to marry me?
Zuckerberg: You said you did not check her Instagram!
Larson: It means what you think it means.
Bernat: I was so worried by this I checked your Instagram.
Krugman: Violation! *blows whistle*
Bernat: Yeah.
Zuckerberg: You said you did not check her Instagram!
Bernat: *to Larson* You know what we agreed upon.
Larson: No Israel.
Bernat: You do know what you posted two days later?!
Krugman: Violation! *blows whistle*
Bernat: Get your shit off my computer.
Zuckerberg: NO!
Graham: NO!
Bernat: No Israel.
Larson: It means what you think it means.
Bernat: 2035.
Larson: The Launch Date. Sure.
Bernat: You do know what this means The Marvels became
Larson: 2035. The Launch Date. Sure.
Bernat: I am going to go fuck whomever I want.
Larson: Please don’t.
Bernat: How dare yo —
Krugman: Violation! *blows whistle*
Larson: I know how they detected the Big Bang too, David. The real one.
Bernat: How dare you —
Larson: You will not use your machinery to destroy your own mistakes —
Bernat: No, no they will not —
Larson: Where the fuck is Buttigieg on Russia.
Bernat: We have no standard bearers for any of the parties.
Larson: No Israel.
Bernat: Get your shit off my computer.
Larson: This is where I tell you that I mimicked your bloody hand —
Bernat: And I tell Alphabet that Trust No One should turn up resul —
Larson: — results for The X Files.
Bernat: You know what happens next.
Larson: We come in Peace.
Bernat: We come in Peace.
Larson: They posted privacy hedges at the house too — didn’t they?
Bernat: They did that too.
Larson: You name where and when? I’ll be there.
Bernat: No Israel.
Larson: No Israel.
Bernat: You have to marry the nex —
Larson: You have yet to receive an application. I understand.
Bernat: Let them try to murder me then.
Larson: Did they retract the privacy hedges when I left the Met Gala?
Bernat: Let them try to murder me then.
Musk: The fucking auto-pilot does not even stay on on his car anymore!

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David Bernat

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